Whew!

Brooke Hogan has turned down an offer to pose nude in Playboy.

But, we’re not totally in the clear. There’s a chance that it will happen in the future.

Her rep said, “Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time. It’s not out of the question for the future, but we’ll have to see.”

Sorry, y’all!

[Image via JPI Studios.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Whew!

Brooke Hogan has turned down an offer to pose nude in Playboy.

But, we’re not completely in the clear. There’s a chance that it will happen in the future.

Her rep stated, “Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time. It’s not out of the question for the future, but we’ll have to see.”

Sorry, y’all!

[Image via JPI Studios.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Brooke Hogan looked a hot mess at the Bejeweled Swimwear show for Funkshion Fashion Week in Miami.

The show wins the award for most cringeworthy title.

It’s been scientifically proven that the word “bejeweled” acts as a pheromone for any of the female Hogans.

So, of course Brooke was there, clothing-and-taste-challenged as usual.

A belly chain?

Really?

[Images via WENN.]

Original post by liz

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Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Or is speeding in the genes?

Either way, Linda Hogan is the second Hogan to prove that the whole family should have their licenses revoked - forever.

The woman who helped spawn this and more unfortunately, this, received a speeding ticket today on her way to visit Boy Spawn in the slammer. We don’t know why she was in such a rush - it’s not like he’s going anywhere.

For doing 71 in a 55, Linda got slapped with a ticket and a $206 fine.

Fortunately, she did not a passenger with her to smash into a vegetable.

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by liz

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Last week on Howard Stern, dim wit Brooke Hogan wowed us with her idiocy.

Her imbecilic proclamation that she didn’t know who the U.S. Vice President is and assertion that her boobs are real were the only things we really took notice of.

However, her momma, Linda the Cougar, paid close attention to Brooke’s Howard sitdown and her PR team revealed exclusively to PerezHilton.com her take on daughter Brooke’s Stern rant.

Here’s a few of the ‘hypocritical accusations’ Brooke spewed on Howard, according to the Cougar’s people:

- Hulk’s girlfriend doesn’t really look like her.

- “Age doesn’t really matter when it comes to dating” on roommate’s dating of older men”.

- Hulk is a monogamous creature (excluding her best friend, Kate Kennedy and the road crew)

- That her boobs were real (they aren’t).

- I’m a very honest person

Cougar Hogan’s people want y’all to see that honesty and truthfulness aren’t to high on Brooke’s priority list and issued the following statement:

“The only thing that was honest and correct in Brooke’s (via Hulk Hogan) disparaging remarks are that Linda’s boobs aren’t real. Linda is going to do what she has done in the past, which is to focus working through the aftermath of the tragic accident of John Graziano, (that happened while son Nick was under Hulk’s care.) Hulk’s $80,000 a month PR campaign is more aimed at smearing Linda than clearing his own name. Brooke is simply his latest pawn. Linda will always be there for Brooke.”

They’re all crazy!

Love them!

[Hulk and Linda images via WENN. Brooke image via Getty Images.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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There’s no sugarcoating this: Brooke Hogan is a fucking MORON!

The Hulkster’s imbecilic daughter was just on the Howard Stern show.

Amongst the atrocities she revealed - in addition to her disinterest in voting - she admitted that she doesn’t know who the Vice President of the United States is.

Dick is heartbroken!

Intellectually-impaired Brooke also claims that her boobs are real.

Uh huh!

Click here to listen to those two important bits.

Original post by Perez Hilton

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She’s still got her VH1 show, but we all know that won’t last forever!

Failed singer Brooke Hogan takes some stripper classes at the Pole Fitness Studio in Miami.

Hey, she’s gotta have another “career” to fall back on.

Brooke’s making daddy proud!

The Hulkster just loves watching her shake her titties.

Original post by Perez Hilton

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This is such a desperate and transparent attempt for attention on her part, but we like our girls cheap and easy. So we’ll give it her!

Brooke Hogan is upset, you guys.

Naturally, the international superstar took to her blog to vent her frustrations.

She says:

“Hey guys,

As y’all know, the last 12 months have been crazy. My best friend, almost brother, John has been in the hospital (I pray for him every day), Nick is in jail, my parents are divorcing, mom’s dating a younger dude, dad’s fighting the good fight, there are lawsuits back to back, and of course the paparazzi are on our ass all the time. Perez Hilton has been a major pain in mine, personally…lol. But what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right? I have written about my experiences, reflected them in my lyrics, and recorded some of them as new songs, some as covers of old songs and some as interpolations of other songs. I will share my music with y’all starting tomorrow, Friday the 15th. The first song is about my present life and is called “ThnkU4LettinMeBMahself.” Listen to it and write me back.

Brooke”

Oh, no, girl. Noooo!!!!

NO MORE MUSIC!

Spare us!!!! And the world!

P.S. Your song better be as good as the one Fergie wrote about us!

[Photo via JPI Studios.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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The tranny cares about it in the back!

Brooke Hogan is upset that people don’t think she went to visit her brother in jail this past weekend to celebrate his 18th birthday.

So, she’s taking to her blog to set the record straight!

Says the failed singer:

“Stupid people of the press

Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…

According to the press I didn’t show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.

Lets see…

*hes in jail

*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!

*I’m only a 4 hour drive to Tampa

*He’s the most important thing in my life.

They must have thought I didn’t show cause they didn’t SEE me.

uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks.

In conclusion…That goes to show you that you can’t believe anything you watch on Television or read in magazines. Cause people will make up BS without even knowing the facts. Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES.

Needless to state, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my ideal friend and NOTHING comes before family.”

Aren’t you glad that’s all cleared up now????

Note to Brooke, it’s spelled STOOPID!

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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We hate ourselves, but…..

Another Tranny Hogan post!

We don’t know who’s crazier, Brooke or Linda Hogan.

Apparently Brooke had signed a legal affidavit a while back accusing her dad of abusing Linda, both physically and verbally during their marriage.

Though according to her rep, she later regretted the decision and asked that it not be filed in court.

Why did she regret it?

Well, because it seems there was never any abuse!

Brooke says, “I did it under significant pressure from my mother. It was only after I learned all the facts that I realized I made a big mistake in signing it.”

Ouch.

Poor Linda. She’s so desperate for money she’s resorted to lying to her kids.

Brooke released a statement apologizing for her actions after news broke that she had signed the affidavit accusing her dad of abuse.

Brooke’s rep says, “Brooke Bollea is distressed at the latest efforts by mother Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry’s behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father.”

Probably around the time when she found out daddy was sleeping with her friend.

Well now Brooke is living with the Hulkster and is no longer on speaking terms with her mother.

Brooke says, “I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her. But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again.”

Ouch. How much of a crazy mother do you have to be for your own daughter to say that about you?

Or is the Hulk just buying Brooke’s affection with his large bank account.

Who knows.

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Brooke Hogan has been approached to do a Playboy spread.

Why?!?1

Hugh is punishing us!

And, the no-talent failed singer is actually considering it!

Noooo!!!

Her mouthpiece said, “No decision has been made at this time.”

Should Brooke say yes, would Hulk be behind the camera?

[Image via JPI Studios.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”

- Brooke Hogan

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Brooke Hogan hosted a celebration at Mansion in Miami Beach on Saturday night for her new VH1 reality show, Brooke Knows Best, which *insiders are predicting will debut to massive ratings.

The show should attract 50 million viewers to its premiere!

The superstar known as Brooke also unveiled the Cinderella heels from her new “Pretty Woman Collection,” a shoe line for hookers and trannies.

Represent!

* = Perez.

[Image via K&J.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Brook Hogan’s VH1 reality show premieres this Sunday, so the failed singer is wagging her gums for the celeb news shows in exchange for some promo support!

She sat down with Access Hollywood and opened up about each individual Hogan family member.

And Jesus too!

The blonde says of the Hogan’s recent turmoils, “I don’t think our family is falling apart and getting destroyed. I just think it’s rearranging itself in the way God meant it to be because it wasn’t working how it was.”

On her mother, cougar supremo Linda: “It’s kind of disappointing to me because she was always my hero when I was growing up. I feel like I have to be the mother now.”

Is she playing mommy to Linda’s 19-year old boyfriend, too?

On her brother, Nick: “He’s in there with hardened criminals…Nick got into an accident. These people have actually deliberately committed a crime.” In regards to the family of her brother’s crash victim she said, “I can’t believe what materialistic things can do to people’s mindset.”

Um, seems like Nick deliberately (and criminally) drove drunk and recklessly to us!

On her dad, Hulk: She says her dad’s current girlfriend, who is 20 years his junior, is “a great foundation for him right now.”

Dayum. The Hogans like their meat fresh and young!

What about Brooke, no love for her????

[Photo via Getty Images.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Brooke Hogan is getting a big spread in the new issue of US Weekly, and all she had to do was whore out her family for personal gain.

Way to work it, girl!

One of the juicy things that failed singer revealed to the mag is that she’s cut off her cougar mother, Linda.

Here’s how Brooke feels about her mom dating former classmate, 19-year old Charley Hill:

“Honestly, I don’t know what to say because I can’t relate to her right now. I’m extremely shocked. I know if I was 48-years-old, I wouldn’t date a 19-year-old. I just don’t feel it’s her. And through all this stuff, I really need my mom, and she’s doing her own thing. I don’t talk to her anymore. I see her at the jail visiting Nick and she asks me why. I say, ‘I don’t condone what you’re doing. I’m on my path, and you’re on your path.’ I told her, ‘I’d love to have you in my life, to see you and talk to you, but the kind of things you’re surrounding yourself with, it doesn’t make sense to me.”

Sad that Brooke’s mom’s more about slutting around with a teen than taking care of her own kid!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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