Whenever a LOLhan opens her or his mouth, we cringe.

Because bullshit is sure to come spewing out.

Case in point:

Dina Lohan just had to add her two cents to Situation Unsightly. She says that contrary to rumors, Lindsay doesn’t know why her 6 episode deal was cut to 4, her daughter “had fun,” and “America’s a doll.”

She also wants to set the record straight on some other things. There was no posse, it was just

Dina

Dina’s mother

and Ali.

Who were all necessary at the shoot, we’re sure.

And they didn’t trash the room.

And Lindsay is a perfect lady.

Whatever, Dina.

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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No, that’s not a picture of 14-year old Ali Lohan leaving dance class.

Ali and her ass were snapped leaving the fancy store Henri Bendels with momma Dina in the NYC on Monday.

Call us a prude, but if we were the parent of a 14-year old girl there’s no way she’d leave the home with us, booty hanging out and shiz.

She’s 14!!!!!!!

The HoHans are so classy.

How long until Ali goes to rehab????

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Paternity tests and lesbians are just another part of Living Lohan.

Which is to say that the Lohans are a little honesty-challenged.

Remember when we told you how a rep for Dina and Ali said that the Lohan Ladies were meeting with famed music manager Johnny Wright?

Well, Wright’s company - which manages such acts as Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson and Ciara - issued a response to the “reports” that basically bitchslapped the Lohans - hard.

Says a rep for the manager:

“Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali’s music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false.”

In other words, “Only in your wildest dreams!”

Owned!
A rep for the momager and mini-40-year-old has - wisely - not commented.

Original post by liz

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And the battle of the Lohans continues. Yet again!

With Lindsay Lohan officially coming out of the closet this week and her professional acting career on hiatus, there’s really not much to mention about her in the media.

But now with her crazy father releasing remarks to the public and Lindsay releasing her own remarks, she’s back in the public’s eye, where she loves to be.

After Michael Lohan said that Lindsay’s girlfriend was a “bad influence” on his daugther, Lezlo took to her blog to publicly talk about her dad, saying that he obviously needs to be on medication.

And she added that “He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it’s dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped.”

Well, now there’s more coming from Lezlo’s side.

According to reports, Lindsay is so “scared” of her dad, that she’s “taking out an order of protection.”

Sources say “He’s behaving so erratically that she’s terrified he’ll do something to her. She’s contacted her lawyer to arrange this.”

And sources add that even Linday’s 34 14 year-old sister, Aliana Lohan “already has an order of protection against him, as does Dina. No one is speaking with him until he gets help.”

Actually, we think the ENTIRE Lohan clan should seek help!

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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Dina Lohan isn’t the only one who wants to pimp out Lindsay Lohan’s kid sister, Aliana!

Johnny Wright - who manages the Jonas Brothers and Justin Timberlake - wants to help fish Ali’s floundering music career out of the toilet.

Or so someone would like us to believe!

Maybe it would help if she was, you know, actually talented?

But we’ll see how it goes - Momma Lohan isn’t one to relinquish control (Or manager fees!). If anyone is gonna whore out her children, it’s gonna be HER!

Look how well she did with LezLo!

But Wright says he works very well with the mothers of his bands.

When asked, a rep for Dina and Ali stated, “We are meeting with [Wright’s] firm.”

Oh well, if Ali can’t be salvaged, there’s yet one more Lohan spawn to use.

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Just when we were beginning to wonder when Michael Lohan would open his big mouth following Lindsay’s coming out, we’ve finally got it.

That did not take long at all!

Michael is not one to disappoint! Especially when it comes to being a class act father!

In an email to reporters, Michael writes that he wants saMAN out of Lindsay’s life and unable to think of his own material, he refers to Ronson as “SaMANtha” throughout.

Step off, Michael!

Blabbing to the press as any concerned parent would do, Michael says that he believes saMAN wrote the MySpace blog in which LezLo disses on her dad.

These people need to step away from the computer.

Daddy Lohan goes on to praise Joe Francis and agrees with the Girls Gone Wild founder that Samantha is actually controlling Lindsay.

“He wasn’t a bad guy when he flew Lindsay around on his jet, opened the doors to his home or tried to help, was he?,” says Michael.

Um, we’d like to remind you that Joe Francis is the man who gets underaged girls drunk and coaxes them into taking off their clothes.

Continuing his diatribe, Poppa Lohan these colorful words for Samantha:

“There is a lot more to Samantha then meets the eyes, not that what we see is too pleasing anyway! I mean, what’s with this … ‘person’??? Look at the way she ‘dresses’? Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words! Personally, I think she is dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.

God will weed her out of Lindsay’s life and at that time, you will finally see Lindsay back in the place where she belongs. Not doing independent films, guest starring on [a] TV show, being a guest judge on a reality TV show or making appearances at Samantha’s DJ gigs. Is this the Lindsay we all knew and loved before Samantha came into her life? No!!! When she got out of Cirque Lodge everything looked good until Samantha came on the ’scene.’”

Reading that hurt our big fat head!

Michael adds that even though mother and ex-wife Dina Lohan publicly praised Ronson, she knows that Sam has upset Lindsay with threats of a tell-all book.

Dina could not be reached for comment.

Poppa Lohan concludes that he will not rest “until this dark, evil nemesis is out of Lindsay’s life.”

Is he talking about himself????

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by liz

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There’s nothing “complicated” about the cancellation of Denise Richards’s reality TV show.

No one cares!

A source told The Insider, “The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode. But the audience has dropped off.”

We guess folks would prefer watch Dina Lohan pimp out her younger daughter because her show’s staying while Denise’s receives the axe.

The best part is no one has bothered to give Denise the bad news.

She was spotted running around the Silverspoon Emmy gift lounge in Beverly Hills this wek excitedly telling everyone that her show had been renewed.

But, E! is now saying that no decision has been made.

She still might get the axe!

We hope the cameras are rolling when that poor unfortunate intern is sent to deliver Denise’s pink slip because that would be a killer finale!

Literally!

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by liz

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It’s been a while - DAYS! - since we heard from Lindsay Lohan’s parents, but our prayers have been answered.

This time around it’s momma Dina Lohan who’s speaking out.

So what does the Orange Oprah have to say????

She claims she really likes Lezlo’s girlfriend, saMAN Ronson.

That’s not what daddy, Michael Lohan, had previously said.

Remember, Michael claimed that his concerns over the bad influence that is Ronson grew out of the shit Dina was telling him about LezLo and saMAN!

But Dina says that’s not true.

And, Wednesday night, while she was at a benefit in NY with the happy couple, Dina spoke to reporters, naturally.

Momma said, “I love Lindsay and I love Samantha, if they are happy, I am happy. This is my child, I mean, what better place for a child to be than happy in her soul and her spirit.”

How sweet and - yet - she seems so fake!

[Photo via Getty Images.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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When Michael Lohan’s father passed away at the age of 73 last week, the ex-convict made a point to talk to the media about his kids and his horrible ex-wife, Dina.

Talk about being a media whore!!!

And of course, you’ll recall that Lindsay Lohan spent the day of the wake hanging out and shopping with her girlfriend.

Well, now it’s Daddy’s turn to talk to the media AGAIN.

Hey, he has to pay his bills, right?

Michael has told E! News that he is “set to call truce and reunite with his famous daughter and the rest of his offspring at a burial for his father, Richard.”

He says that although Lindsay was not present for the wake, she will be present for the final service.

Are you sure about that????

Daddy Lohan confirms, “She is going to be at the burial. All my kids will be there.”

Is that a cue for the media to show up????

They should just BOYCOTT the funeral and allow the non-media loving family members to pay their respects in peace.

But, surprisingly enough, Michael even has nice things to say about Dina Lohan!

Someone is trying to do damage control!

He says “And I can’t believe how great Dina has been. She has been wonderful. She has been the woman I married. She has been great.”

Is someone on drugs??????

And as for his dad’s remains, Michael continues to tell the media exactly what will happen, and when and where.

He says, “My father always wanted to be cremated,” he said. “He wanted to have his ashes sprinkled in our county in Cold Spring Harbor, in the harbor. That was his favorite spot. So that is what we are going to do. We are going to get on our boat with probably like 50 or 60 people and go out. We are just going to sprinkle them together as a family.”

And of course, what would a Michael Lohan interview be without more mentions of his daughter?

Michael says, “Lindsay is my daughter. Nothing will ever separate a father’s love from his kids. And that is all that matters. No one will ever change that.”

Sometimes you just need to learn to shut up!

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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This has got to be one of the worst weeks for the Lohans ever!

Dysfunction runs in Lindsay’s family - on both sides.

The latest drama to plague her clan?

LezLo’s uncle, Paul Sullivan, has been sentenced to a year and one day in jail.

Why? For what????

Well, Dina’s brother was convicted of fraudulently claiming that his company lost business because of the Sept. 11 attacks.

Sullivan also was ordered to repay a $646,000 loan that he had defrauded from Small Business administration.

We sure hope that shit show known as Living Lohan has been filming this week!!!!!!

[Photo via Getty Images.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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It was only a matter of time before the pathetic and money-hungry famewhore got his wish!

Michael Lohan is determined to show y’all the ‘truth’ about Dina Lohan and how she was responsible for his attack on LezLo’s love, saMAN Ronson.

According to TV Guide, a TV company’s crafting a show around Michael telling all!

Daddy Lohan said to the pub,

“I’m going to do a one-hour special. Everyone is going to hear everything for themselves. They’re going to hear everything Dina has to say. I have it all on tape — all recorded, time and date-stamped. You will hear it all. I have 101 text messages between Lindsay and I, and I have about 60 tape recordings of Dina…These lies have to stop. She can’t say all these things to me and when I try to address it, deny everything. Dina’s a hypocrite and I’m tired of it.”

He’s fucking CRAZY!!!!!!!

Michael says the show’s “definitely” happening but because of contractual obligations he can’t disclose too much detail.

But, he did mention that it could be broken up into a multi-part series.

We think one episode would be MORE than enough!

We also think he’s full of shit!

[Images via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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It’s just another day of the Lohans doing what they do best.

Giving us drama to drool over!

Michael Lohan has issued a new statement to OK! magazine about his ‘war’ with LezLo and saMAN Ronson.

He says his concerns grew out of the bad stuff Dina Lohan was telling him about LezLo and saMAN!

We can’t wait to hear what Orange Oprah has to say! Things have been escalating ridiculously between Daddy, Lindz and saMAN, and Dina’s been awfully quiet.

Uncharacteristic of her, wouldn’t you say?

Here’s Daddy Lohan’s latest statement:

“When I first spoke out, I clearly stated that everything I said and my concerns were generated by my ex-wife, Dina… After a recent phone call from Lindsay while she was traveling on one of Samantha’s DJ gigs, I became very concerned. It was then that we all agreed to have a mother/daughter/father sit-down when Lindsay got to NY.

Everything was arranged and agreed (I have dozens of texts and recordings with Dina to prove it). But when the time came on Sunday, Dina chose to go into NYC and have dinner with Sam, Sam’s mother and Lindsay, rather than address real issues and make things better for Lindsay.

A day later, Dina told me that Sam was writing a book, that Sam was a negative influence on Lindsay and that Sam needs to be out of Lindsay’s life….then she asked me how to do it!!

Matters became worse when Dina said Lindsay was in REAL danger and she needed to save her and get Lindsay into ‘a place!’ These are ALL Dina’s words. Tell me, what father wouldn’t be concerned and even pissed at Sam after hearing this!!???

To even imagine that Dina would then go on vacation is even more sickening! Should we actually believe a women who says whe doesn’t party with Lindsay, get drunk or care about fame? She has been on video and photographed dozens of times with Lindsay, drunk in public, thrown out of events, had public fights with Lindsay and then does a reality show which was so far from the truth, it’s disgusting!

Dina cares? PLEASE!!!! Lindsay was once stalked by a guy [name deleted]  who Dina trusted and I said from the get go that I didn’t only for Dina to look the other way when I had to get a task force to track him down.

Dina took a percentage of Lindsay’s money when I NEVER took a red cent! All the while, I only speak out when something is wrong or needs to be made right!

Dina is a money-loving, fame-seeking, self-serving deceiver, who comes from roots of the same.

Meanwhile they say I seek fame! Ha! I am out there doing charity work, going on mission trips, working with the United Nations and trying to help my daughter while spending sleepless nights with a father dying of cancer. Did Dina call my dad, or have the kids visit or send a card to a man who never hurt a fly? NO! Dina raised all this alarm and caused this whole thing!

While guilt may bring a response by some, others like Dina pass the buck and don’t accept any responsibility at all.

All I want is for Lindsay to be healthy and in a good relationship! I want her to use the gifts she has in the best ways and to help others! I said it from the very beginning: Show me who you walk with and I will tell you who you are! People may deceive us, but our eyes and facts don’t! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!”

Strong stuff!

Who’s next?

[Images via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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It was only a matter of time! Hours, actually.

We can’t help but love the whole LezLo vs. Poppa craziness!

So it all started this week with Daddy Michael Lohan giving his disparaging remarks about saMAN Ronson.

Then, Lindsay, out of character for her, actually responded back to her fame-whoring father, saying that he’s “out of control”, and she professed her love for Ronson.

Then, Ronson took to her blog to lash out at Michael.

And, just in case she wasn’t clear enough, Lindsay then took to her own blog to write about her attention-seeking daddy.

So now it’s Michael’s turn again. And what does daddy have to say?

He told ABC News, “Who’s out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break. Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins … She’s gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who’s out of control?”

Ouch!

But he continues!

Michael adds, “I go to church. I go and help people in rehab. That’s control. How can she say I’m out of control?”

He even claims that ex-wife Dina Lohan first told him about the bad influence that is 31 year-old Ronson. He claims Dina refuses to come out publicly about it since she wants to stay in the spotlight with Lindsay.

We could definitely believe that.

Michael says, “I want Lindsay to be in a good place. When I started looking at what Samantha was doing, dragging Lindsay to clubs, drinking around Lindsay … Samantha is one of the biggest problems in her life. That’s what Dina told me. I’m reacting on what Dina said, but then Dina steps out of the picture because she wants to look like the good guy.”

Oh, shit. Oh, shit!!!!

This is ’bout to set Orange Oprah OFF!!!!!!

He adds, “Dina’s a two-face. She wants to try to look good and stay on Lindsay’s good side instead of being a good parent. I don’t give two hoots about my relationship with Lindsay as a friend. One day she’s going to turn around to me and tell me, ‘Daddy, you were right.’”

And it get’s better. Michael adds, “If they’re going to say I’m lying, I’m out of control, I’m going to show that they’re lying and they’re out of control.”

He also says that he’s on the edge of releasing text messages and recorded phone conversations with Dina and Lindsay that prove he’s not lying.

Do it!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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And the Cooper vs. Lohan war of the words continues!

As we’ve been following closely since Tuesday, it all started when Anderson Cooper gave his very strong view on the permanently orange-tanned family and how much they suck, in his pretty lil’ eyes.

So to the Cooper remarks, Dina Lohan issued her own statement, which was just lame lame lame.

And, to that, Cooper had his own response to her response!

We knew it was only a matte of time before media-loving Michael Lohan involved himself in the dramz.

And now he has.

Michael Lohan spoke out in defense of his 60 14 year-old daughter.

Lohan issued a statement, saying, “I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his thought to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.”

Huh? What family issues does Cooper have?

Is that some gay thing????

Paging LezLo!

We’ve a feeling Anderson might be making a response soon to Lohan’s response to his response to Dina’s response to his statement!.

[Image via WENN.]

Original post by Perez Hilton

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viewNode(”7ae1afb2bfe08″, { player_profile:’vega4′, width: 410, height: 315 });

We know you’re following this story as closely as we are, and you’re LOVING it!

Yesterday, Anderson Cooper was on Live! with Regis & Kelly, where he proceeded to talk major smack about the entire Lohan family.

Well, Orange Oprah was none too pleased to be ripped a new one by the news anchor, so Dina (of course) issued her own statement.

Well, it’s Anderson who is now having the last laugh!

Cooper discussed the whole fracas on his CNN show last night and….

Not only did he not apologize to the Lohans, but the Silver Fox used the opportunity to take a few more digs at Dina.

LOVE him!

Check it out (above).

Original post by Perez Hilton

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